dracobolt: (Garet)
[personal profile] dracobolt

This sporking story’s been a long time coming, I think. I’ve hinted at doing a Garet/Jenna in both of my other fics and now I’m finally getting around to writing it. I don’t see this one as being terribly long, we can only hope but who knows? Again, this is working off of the first two, so Jenna and Sheba are aboard the Lemurian ship with the main GS cast, Isaac and Mia are an established item, and Felix and Alex are an established item still at large (whether they’re truly evil or not has yet to be determined ^_^). I might bump the censor to PG-13 later, depending on what my brain comes up with. What your brain can come up with needs a rating that hasn’t even been developed yet.

So without further ado, here now is the full glory of "Embers."

Disclaimer: nuS nedloG fo trap yna nwo t’nod I (hold it up to a mirror if you don’t get it) She’s speaking in tongues! Burn the witch!


"Just five more minutes," Garet mumbled sleepily. Sunrise was far too early to function. What couldn’t mornings begin later? Oh, that wacky Garet with all of his original, endearing personality quirks. Liking to sleep a lot, liking to eat a lot, being dumber than a goldfish after a lobotomy… That’s really pushing the envelope with character development, Midnight! (Heh, this is exactly how I feel in the morning!) Me too, only I don’t go around telling people who have no reason to care. This isn’t Facebook, after all.

"Up and at ‘em, sleeping beauty," said Ivan in a singsong voice. "The sun’s awake and it’s time we were too." Shut up, Ivan. No one likes cheerfulness at the crack of dawn. If Garet punches you in the face, I’ll laugh and say you deserved it.

Stupid Ivan, always so chipper in the morning. If violent isn’t solving your problems, you’re not using enough of it. Garet buried his head under his pillow to muffle the annoying, perky voice. Moments passed, then four hands because Ivan was a Machamp promptly shoved him out of his bunk and onto the cold wooden floor.

"Every morning it’s the same thing," Isaac sighed. "You can’t stay in bed all day, Garet. Won’t know until he tries, Isaac! We have a ship to sail and a quest to continue."

It was the same thing every morning. Always the same upbeat greeting from Ivan, the same sordid reminder from Isaac, the same shove to rouse him. Hungry for breakfast and resigned to his fate, Garet began another day. One day soon he would go postal and massacre them all, but this was not that day.


It promised to be another uneventful day at sea. The rum was gone. They were sailing into more southerly waters, which was a welcome relief from the cold that had surrounded them since they left Lemuria a few short weeks ago. It was supposed to be a new route back towards Tolbi to deliver the sacred draught to Babi. Boring. Yeah, being a bunch of glorified Viagra deliverymen doesn’t seem like the most exci- What? Oh, come on, you know that what that “sacred draught” is really all about. Iodem is just Babi’s close advisor, my foot. Business as usual for this time of day on deck. Isaac manning the helm, Ivan in the crow’s nest playing lookout, and the three girls giggling about something as they stood talking by the bow. So it takes two people to keep the ship on course. Then why on earth did they pull poor Garet from bed at the crack of dawn? My money’s on sadism. Garet studied the latter of these from where he sat on a barrel nearby, snacking on food rations as he sharpened a small collection of swords. He couldn’t discern what the girls were saying, but each round of giggles made him cringe.

Why are girls always making that noise? he wondered. They sound like a group of ducks or something. Peytral, this one’s for you: QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!

Truthfully, Garet hated the sound because he always thought they might be laughing at him. He was fully aware that he wasn’t as smart as Isaac or Ivan but he hated to be made a fool of. Perhaps he wasn’t brilliant, but he wasn’t totally stupid either. Aw… See, folks? Garet just wants to be loved.

Still, it was nice having females on board. T&A on demand, aw yeah. He found women terribly sexy enigmatic but that also made them all the more alluring for some reason. And these three…well they were somehow better than the average girls on the streets. And Garet had a lot of experience with girls on the streets, if you know what I mean. He eyed them as nonchalantly as he could while he sat there, making minor mental notes to himself. “Mia: knockers capable of suffocating wildlife; more than one hapless woodland critter had meet its end in the embrace of Mia’s tremendous bosom; however, to Garet’s mind, there were few better ways to go, Sheba: loli-licious, Jenna: in possession of fine lovely lady lumps.”

There was Sheba, with her short, boyish blonde hair and huge eyes, which made her more cute than beautiful, kind of like a helpless little lolita little sister. Bit of a prima donna, though Deadpan Loli? —demanded respect and detested rudeness. Never treat a girl like a goddess or else it’ll go straight to her head. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to Sheba! Basically good-humored, except when she was telling people to be quiet. Though she never yelled at Ivan… This was because Ivan was her dealer.

Speaking of goddesses, Mia practically was one. No, dear, that’s called being a Mary Sue. Why couldn’t every healer in the world look like her?

Sure would make getting injured or sick a lot easier to tolerate. Definitely needed to get someone like her to run the sanctum in Vale when this mess was over. She had this weird ability to take the panic out of most bad situations, kind of soothing like a waterfall. It’s called over-prescribing medicinal marijuana, Garet. She was perfect for Isaac. He was an unapologetic reefer fiend. He needed a woman capable getting him his Mary Jane fix of mending his inner wounds.

Then there was Jenna, the most interesting one of the three in Garet’s opinion. In her own way, she was even more beautiful than Mia, with her dark chocolate eyes and cinnamon buns for hair. Just looking at her made Garet’s mouth water. They’d been friends for as long as he could remember which was seven minutes ago; he’d gotten severe brain in from reading Adrift in Despair, but it was only when Saturos had kidnapped her that he’d started to seriously question his feelings for her. What is this feeling, so sudden and new? They were deeper than mere friendship, but how deep? Was this love or just freakish stalking? He had been sneaking into her house and watching her sleep a lot lately. a fascination?

Garet watched her carefully as she conversed with the other girls, letting his mind wander. Her eyes lit up with lively sparks when she laughed, reflecting the fire within her. Jenna had heat vision! Hard to imagine one being so carefree after losing and being put through so much. That fire he knew she had was what drew him to her like bright lights draw not-so-bright bugs. That burning passion, so like the flames of Mars, made them very alike. Two conflagrations crackling side by side but never as one.

"OW!" he cried out, the sudden shooting pain jerking him out of his thoughts. He’d lost concentration on what he was doing and his hand had slipped and the edge of his sword had cut the side of his thumb. Bah! Stupid sword—why’d it done that? Because it hates being in this miserable excuse for a fic and hopes that if it kills you, the story will be over.

"Problem, Garet?" Sheba asked.

"Naw, just cut myself is all," he replied. Down the road, not across the street! More light giggles. Mia came closer and cast Ply.

"You should be more careful," she warned. "I won’t be able to heal one of your fingers should you cut it off."

Garet mumbled something under his breath. But what? A secret love confession to Mia? A subliminal endorsement for Palin in 2012? Jenna giggled again. "Sharpening a sword and you cut yourself? You’re so clumsy, Garet!" Like, omigawd, totally!

"Lay off, Jenna," he scowled. "I don’t see you volunteering to keep the weapons in shape." That’s because she’s a lazy women. You need to beat some responsibility into her, Garet!

"I’ll have to if you chop off your fingers. Idiot." This last word she said almost inaudibly, but he heard it nonetheless. Idiot. Why was she always so mean to him? Because she’s a PMSing whore.

"I’m not an idiot!" he said, rising. "That’s a fine way for you to talk to the guy who trekked around the world to save your butt!" Yeah, seriously. Jeez, Jenna, no wonder Isaac didn’t want you if this is the way you treat all your guy friends.

"You wouldn’t have made it past the Goma Mountains without Isaac leading you!" Jenna shot back. "Perhaps if you weren’t so inept I wouldn’t have to keep ridiculing you!" Oh, look who’s talking. You couldn’t even successfully eliminate Mia in Against All Odds.

"Inept?!" Garet roared. "I’ll show you inept!" He started to raise one of his huge fists but was restrained by another hand. Koizumi?

"Same old story, isn’t it?" Isaac implored *takes a shot* So it begins… ; weary of having to keep the peace day after day. "Jenna, apologize to Garet. That’s no way to be talking to an old friend." Poor Jenna really does get the short end of the stick in these fics. It’s one thing to write her as a hothead, but another to make her a raging *****. (And on a tangent, it’s really hard for this sporker to keep her language clean when she’s sporking, because there are just so many good jokes that require vocabulary out of her normal range. C’est la vie.)

Jenna’s face resembled that of a child’s when caught with a hand in the cookie jar. She bit her lower lip and walked away. Classy. Garet stared after her a moment, still annoyed and hurt at the same time. Then he resumed sharpening the swords. Tonight, Jenna dies.

"Don’t let her get to you, Garet," Isaac said, seeing the homicidal glint in his friend’s eyes kindly. "You know there’s no way we’d have gotten this far without you." Mia and Sheba nodded in agreement.

"It’s my turn at the orb, now, right?" Sheba questioned.

"Just about," Isaac replied. "Maintain our southerly course. The map we got in Lemuria indicates that we’re near land."

Sheba nodded and left for the orb. Mia took Isaac’s hand. "Now I have you free for awhile." Hurr hurr, boning tiem.

Isaac smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. Garet eyed the two lovers with more than a hint of jealousy. Their romance was taking on legendary proportions now, and Garet felt disheartened. Why hadn't anyone noticed HIS 'legendary proportions'? Had all those spam e-mails lied to him? and their devotion to one another had caused immeasurable complications led the whole group out of many dire situations. Garet wondered if he’d ever win Isaac for himself experience a love like that or if he would just remain Isaac’s goofy idiot sidekick for the rest of his life.

"Jenna seems to have been exceptionally hard on you lately, Garet," said Mia. "I wonder what’s gotten into her." Probably nothing, if you know what I mean. Hurr hurr. I think we know how Garet can fix that.

"I think she just enjoys pissing me off," Garet scoffed.

Isaac whispered something in her ear and she left with a wide smile on her face. He seated himself on one of the other barrels. "Something bugging you?"

"No," said Garet, looking away. Having Isaac so close just aggravated the ache in his heart – and the urge to pull his best friend into a passionate embrace.

"Don’t lie to me, Garet—you’re not good at it. This is a MidnightC fic, after all. You’re not good at anything. I saw how bothered you were by Jenna’s remarks and the way you were looking at Mia and I just now. What’s on your mind?"

“I wish I knew how to quit you!” Garet groaned. Garet half-grinned. Usually, he was the one who had to coax Isaac to open up. Isaac never wanted to be the uke. But he never felt comfortable discussing Jenna with anyone, not even his best friend. "Forget it. It’s nothing."

Isaac lifted an eyebrow and silently stared at the sea. He had a good idea of what was filtering through his friend’s head coffee but he wouldn’t press the issue. Garet was full of contradictions—a clumsy oaf yet a highly skilled lover fighter, wild like fire yet incredibly good in bed trustworthy, strong as an ox yet deeply concerned about others. He’d never been very good at expressing his real feelings for anyone and usually channeled it into anger or annoyance instead. Like after the Collosso tournament; Isaac had collapsed after his last battle and upon waking up, Garet had been highly annoyed with how long it had taken him to recover. Mia and Ivan had in turn scolded Garet for being so insensitive, but Isaac knew that his friend had actually been very worried—he’d just wanted to hide it. Subtext~!

"Well, if you say so," Isaac said. He picked up one of the other swords and started sharpening it in an immensely phallic manner.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, Mia had found Jenna leaning against the rail, dreamily looking across the ocean. "Don’t you owe Garet an apology? Those were some pretty harsh things you said to him. Really, ‘floppy-wanded Dementor buggerer’ was a bit much."

Jenna stayed silent, still staring at the sparkling blue sea. Mia went and leaned on the rail next to her. While there’d been some animosity between the two of them when they’d first met, now they were pretty close friends. Yeah, what’s a little attempted homicide between friends?

"Mia, how did you and Isaac fall in love?" she asked softly.

Mia’s jaw dropped slightly, since this wasn’t what she was expecting to hear. "What makes you ask that?"

Jenna turned a little red. "Well, I…I was just wondering. The two of you were already together when we met, so I just wanted to know how it happened. How did you know that he was…the one?" Close enough to “soulmates.” *takes a shot*

Mia thought a moment to try and recollect everything accurately. "It didn’t happen all at once you lying whore, it’s always love at first sight. ALWAYS., but I remember when I first saw him that day back in Imil. There was just something about him that drew me in—that warm aura around him and the depth in his eyes." She paused, thinking back to what seemed like so long ago. I know what you mean, these fics feel like an eternity to me too. "The feeling just kept getting stronger and stronger as our journey progressed. By the time we’d crossed the Lamakan Desert, I was certain that I was in love with him, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way. I didn’t know what to do because I was too much of a wimp to, you know, say anything, only that I couldn’t stand it whenever he got hurt—especially when he was trying to protect me—and that I didn’t want to be apart from him ever, even if he didn’t feel the same way." Every breath you take, every move you make…

"So how did you find each other?" “eH0rmony.com!”

"It happened at the Venus Lighthouse. The whole place started to shake and collapse after we defeated the Fusion Dragon. Plausible enough. A piece of falling shrapnel suddenly hit me from behind, and…well, my memory’s kind of hazy after that. A little clichéd, but I can still dig it. Isaac caught me as I fell, and I looked up and there was such terror and devastation in his eyes. Really clichéd, but still works. He was sure he’d used all of his Psynergy during the fight because as we all know, Midnight likes to make up contrived reasons for characters to be mortally wounded with no hope of healing cough Adrift in Despair cough and begged me to hang on. I thought I was a goner for sure, so I told him that I loved him, and he just kissed me." And I can still believe it up to here. Even Order of the Stick has used this. Mia blushed slightly and smiled at the memory. "That was the most incredible kiss. It was like parts of souls suddenly merged together and we were no longer separate but one. *twitch* A kiss like that can only come from a love that’s completely true and pure. This doesn’t exactly meet the requirements for the drinking game, but only substance abuse can soothe my poor sense of good taste. Then I felt the warmth of his power flow into me and heal my wound, as if it had been triggered by that kiss. SJIFHSDIHFAHSIUHFAFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-! THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. WHY DID THEY NOT REMEMBER THIS AT THE END OF AGAINST ALL ODDS? WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN POWER OF LOVE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF----- *spasms* *chagrins* *dies* He held me so closely afterwards, like he’d never let me go, and it’s been like that ever since. To put it another way, I’m the Bella to his Edward!"

"Wow," Jenna said after a pause. "That’s like something out of an extremely horrible fan fiction great novel. You’re so lucky to have experienced something like that, Mia." But we readers are not.

"I know. But why are you asking me about this now of all times?" Because Midnight loves to expound upon how awesome Isaac and Mia’s love is?

Jenna sighed, not quite sure if she should explain. "I wish I could know what it’s like to feel a love like that—to be kissed like that." She leaned in towards Mia. “If only someone could… show me.”

"You’ll know one day, I’m sure," said Mia, backing away hastily. She knew how contagious Jenna was. "Everyone has a soulmate *picks up shot glass, looks at it, sets it down* *picks up revolver* Aw yeah, that’s more like it. *BLAM* somewhere in this world, and I’m sure you’ll find yours soon enough. He might be closer than you think." But, Mia, we haven’t even seen Felix since Against All Odds!

"I hope he is," Jenna whispered, barely audibly. Mia regarded her carefully and smiled.

"If you feel that strongly about Garet, you should tell him."

Jenna whirled, her face bright red. "How did you know?!" she demanded. Oh, good, no one knew that Jenna was actually Incest!

Mia chuckled. "Give me some credit, Jenna. How could I not figure it out when you’re constantly bickering with him? It’s such blatant flirting!" Or, you know, hatred and loathing. See, this is where men get the idea that no means yes!

"I suppose I am a little obvious. I wish I had the courage to tell him how I really feel, but every time I try to say something, I end up picking a fight with him instead. Once you get a couple Long Island Iced Teas in you, it’ll go fiiiine. I don’t mean to—it just comes out."

"That bi- fiery nature of yours. Yeah, fiery, sure, that’s what I meant. I know it’s hard to come to grips with these kinds of emotions, Jenna, but don’t hold them in. They’ll eat away at you. Om nom nom! Trust me. Well, not that I’d know from experience, because I’m a Mary Sue character."

Jenna nodded, sighing again. "It’s so hard. We’ve always been good friends, and I don’t want to compromise that. Protip: non-stop insults is probably more likely to compromise your friendship than a love confession, genius. But I’m not happy with the idea of being just his friend forever. I want to be something more. I want to be the very best, like no one ever was!"

"Don’t give up hope," Mia said. "These things have a funny way of working out. Just like any good romantic comedy, the end of a Midnight C fic is apparent before you’ve read any more than the summary. You’ll see."

"I hope so," said Jenna longingly. She looked back at the ocean, her mind wandering far away to thoughts of her love and how she could build up the courage to confess to him. Like I said, booze. Hey-o!


"You were right, Isaac," said Mia. "Jenna does have feelings for Garet."

"Naturally," he said. "I’ve known those two were meant for each other for years."

"Did Garet confess to you?" Sadly, no. I’ll have to look elsewhere for Isaac/Garet shounen ai.

"He didn’t have to. I’ve known how he’s felt about me her before he even did."

Mia smiled. "Does this mean we get to play matchmaker now?" Jenna, oh Jenna, have I got a match for you!

Isaac shrugged in uncertainty. "Matchmaker, matchmaker, maybe I’ve learned… Play with fire and you’re bound to get burned. I think they just need a push in the right direction, but I hate to meddle."

She nodded. "We’ll just have to watch them carefully and wait for the right opportunity to nudge them if need be. With any luck, they’ll find each other before we even have to do so." Oh, I’m sure they will, although not without some of your standard romantic comedy wacky misunderstandings.

"Right. After all, if we managed to end up together, there’s definitely a good chance for Garet and Jenna." A ha ha ha *shoots self again*


More cheesy romantic-ness! Wonderful. ^_^;; Yes, I know I’m a hopeless case YES., but what can I say—it’s just the way I am! Besides, I promised this fic to the voices in my brain Garet and Jenna the last time they busted down my door, and I pride myself on being a woman of my word (not to mention I’m not sane enough to ignore said voices stupid enough to mess with a pair of Mars Adepts…). Chapter 2 coming soon to an near you! Oh, I can hardly wait.

Hey, folks, guess what! We’re not quite done here today! Y’see, every time I spork a chapter, I get plenty of comments about it from others, and a lot of them include suggestions for jokes that I could have used but didn’t think of. Combining that with the fact that sporking this on my own is killing my brain, I’ve decided that the next chapter will be done in a group sporking session. Yes, that’s right, there will be a chance for everyone to rip into this abomination. Just leave a comment on this entry or make a post in the ToK topic stating your interest, and I’ll contact you to work out a good time for everyone. And on a final, related note, I’d like to thank Kent and Sora for their help with a few of the jokes this chapter.

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dracobolt: (Default)
Lynn Dracos

November 2010

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